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December 22nd, 2009

dawnatello_

08:28 pm Hey lj, how have you been? I feel like I have been neglecting you but I just don't have that urge to spill my head out on here anymore... I still love you and I'll be back soon... -Dawn

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justthejill

04:50 pm i started my new job yesterday and worked my first (almost) full day today, i forgot how exhausting working full days is... yeow. things have been interesting the last few weeks - lots of ups and downs... kind of like a huge, scary roller coaster, but i think things are finally getting back to normal. this is a very good thing. im trying to get off sleeping pills, which sucks. i was prescribed zoplicone which my doctor insisted was non-habit forming/non-addictive/non-whatever and she said i could take it whenever i couldnt sleep. so like, every secondish night! i was really starting to feel off a few weeks ago... started to not be able to sleep more frequently even when taking the meds, increased depression/anxiety, increased feelings of agitation/aggression/etc, and forgetting things. so that kind of raised a few HUGE red flags... and i did a google search on the meds. since i was prescribed them, health canada released a warning stating that previous research had been incorrect and they were totally addictive and had similar qualities to benzos. they can cause increased anxiety, depression, agitation... oh and hello! rebound insomnia. i disposed of them on wednesday, and since then have been having a horrendous time sleeping. i am totally and absolutely committed though to getting over these sleep problems medication free. i am working REALLY hard at developing good sleep hygiene... which like, let me tell you - it is NOT fun getting up at 8 am after going to bed at 11 pm and tossing and turning until 5 am... i know that it will be worth it in the end. i want to see if i can get in to see a naturopath in the new year. im starting yoga in january and possibly a belly dance class too. i think all of those things are going to help BIG time. ok so the new job... what a couple of days! it was so weird to get staff orientation that involved picking things out of a catalog that i want. heh - even though i couldnt think of anything besides a day planner. i have my first work email account. it is weird to have autonomy in my job. i dont exactly know how to negotiate or deal with that. in fact, i feel like a little kid in a big kid's world! everything is so new and weird. the job itself? i think it will be good for now. i think there is a ton of room to develop the program beyond what is now. in the current state, the program really only provides advocacy, referrals for assessments, and help with student loans and disability funding agency... but i totally think there is a ton of room to make it more full and broad both on individual and community levels. the kind of frustrating part is that i'm job sharing for the next 4-6 months, and like - the woman in the position right now is retiring so i think some boundary/territorial issues are going to come. even today, i felt like she was looking over my shoulder all day. everything i did, she changed. she was correcting stuff in my writing, but none of her corrections made sense and obviously didn't fit into my style of writing. she does things so much slower than i do, so im going to have to learn a heck of a lot of patience. i mean, i totally get it. she's been in this position for a long time, and i totally don't want to step on her toes, but i also want autonomy and independence. i know that i am competent as a social worker and a person. i'm excited for her to actually retire (not because i can't stand her - that isn't it at all!). she keeps all of these written records in various notebooks because she doesn't like computers - so the first thing im going to do is create computer based databases. the office we currently share is so fricken bland too. there is nothing on the walls, no plants, nothing. i have a feeling that the next little while is going to be a bit... difficult, but that i'm just going to have to be my own advocate. it's exciting! argh must go pack.. moving first weekend in jan!

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December 14th, 2009

justthejill

08:14 pm we got the house and i for sure got the job! the next month is going to be bringing lots of new and exciting changes to my life. i am excited, ans also totally nervous. i start my new job on the 21st. the salary is a bit lower than i think it should. the director said it is open for negotiating, but i feel totally awkward and weird approaching that situation. i only want about $1200 more a year... hrm

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